Saturday, November 28, 2009

haihhh.

Macam ni la hidup orang takde life. On9, texting with strangers, makan bila bosan, muntahkan balik sebab takut jadi lagi gemok, buat keje bodoh dengan adik, browse sume blog orang yang tak dikenali , update dengan Junkies.

Bosan kan? Can you give me more precious things to do?
Haihhh



***********************************************************************

I'm sorry lah mcm ni, I terpaksa. I pun tak tahan jugak nak nangis hari-hari.

To me, it doesn't matter.



Look. See how fat I am.
How 'big' my cheeks. I have double chin. I have short and fat legs. I am fat, obviously. If possible, I really want to change 'me'. I hate what I am now.

Biasa lah perempuan, nak kurus. Cantik macam model, putih berseri macam model iklan Lux. Nak bentuk badan yang best untuk puaskan nafsu lelaki. Nak kulit cantik tanpa bulu. Nak hidung mancung macam Freja. Nak pinggang ramping macam Megan Fox. Nak jadi SAW (sexually attracted women) macam Lady Gaga. Nak bibir seksi macam Angelina JOlie. Nak pakaian yang lawa-lawa macam Victoria Becham. Senang cerita, perempuan memang nak jadi perfect. Bukan untuk siapa-siapa, untuk lelaki. *Hehh aku tak suka cakap benda ni.*

Tapi betul jugak apa yang Scha cakap, kalau cantik tapi tak happy ape gunanya.

Apa-apa pun kita, ketrampilan dan kecantikan bukan ukuran. Yang menjadi kayu pengukur ialah kebijakkan dan cara seseorang tu bawa diri. Sekarang ni, nak cantik ke nak orang pandang tinggi kat kita? Cantik tu penting jugak, memang tak dinafikan. Tapi tak payah la nak berkorban sangat sangat sangat kan? Cuba fikir, kalau kau cantik gila, tapi tak happy, tak pandai bawa diri, apa akan jadi? Ha. Tak payah cantik pun takpe, janji ada kelebihan sendiri. So Najwa, jgn down sgt kau tak cantik.

*this is motivation to me lah! Aku tau macam bodoh, DIAM!

Entry No. -167890.9989 + 1



Rindu nak jilat youuuu.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

*depressed, duhh!
Italic

Friday, November 27, 2009

This is about someone who used to called me Baby.

He used to called me Baby. He called me Darling,too.
I called him Shitty.

He treat me like a princess. He love me so much, I guess.
He told me that I am ego. He thought me how to live like an adult.
He told me how to be wise. He used to make me happy.
He knows what I felt, he did made me felt like a princess.
He never hurts me.

We broke up, we lost contact for ages.
I miss him.

If you're here, I'd tell you how much I miss you.
Your couraging words, your 'I love you', your stupid jokes.

We never met even once. I hurt him.
I believe in karma. I know I'll get the 'punishment'.




*Sorry if this is too emotional. I jarang macam ni, hehh.


Thursday, November 26, 2009

I am

currently reading P.S I Love You. Will post the review later :D





Siapa sudi jadi kekasih gelap saya? HEE

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

This is ain't true.

So baby don't worry
You're my only
You wont be lonely
Even if the sky is fallin down

You'll be my only
No need to worry
Even if the sky is fallin down.


I hate all the 'ayat bunga bunga' macam ni. Let's think, are you sure I wont be lonely or your girlfriend or your boyfriend wont be lonely?? Ha. That's the question.

You got what I mean? It's like you promised someone that you'll never die in her / his heart. Are you sure bout that? Plus, how would you know what's in other's heart?
Come on la people, THINK.

When Najwa changed to 028

Btw, 028 is my angka giliran for SPM . hehh. I hate exams. I've mentioned this before,I think.

Just finished Addmath paper. It's so difficult, guhh! And again, takde harapan nak dapat A. Like usual lah kan :D

I miss my class so much, I dont know why. Maybe I can laugh out loud in there. Maya, Lea, Muiz, Aifa, Hendri, Amar, Mirul, they were not this serious before. Maybe this is 'exam fever', sume org macam tension gila. Ada yang dah seminggu tak jumpa sbb lain dewan. Ada yang langsung tak nak cakap sbb takut ilmu keluar balik. huhh WTF! Ada yang study sampai jadi tak betul. Are this normal? I guess they aren't. Kesian pun ada, tapi lagi bagus kesiankan diri sendiri yang lagi macam macam masalah yang kena tanggung. Lagi bagus kesiankan diri sendiri yang tak cukup sempurna ni. Penat hidup banyak gangguan ni, pegi sana ada org mengata, pegi sini org mengumpat. Bila tak pegi mana mana, org ungkit masalah lame pulak. Macam artis pulak aku, seriously aku tak suka. Please stop it.

I don't need all your 'intentionsss'. I have my own way to do something. The way I'm thinking, what I'm doing, what I supposed to do after this, sume tu hal aku. Kau atau korang tak payah tahu.

Okay bebeh? thankyouuuuu :D

Sunday, November 22, 2009

It's Hotsturfffffff

We fight we brake up,
We kiss we make up.

Macam tu yeh?

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Pussy Eater.

I ate pussy. I ate muffins decorated with pussy ilustration. They look so yummy! They tasted soooo yummy! I love pussy muffins :D

I'm in my resting time and a good mood now.

I just finished my Sejarah, BM, English and EST paper. They were so difficult. I don't ever think that I can get many As. haihhh

I have bipolar disorder. I think

I regret. I think you should shoot me right here, at my soul. I didn't noticed about you. I din't know what I supposed to do. I'm useless. I apologize.

Stressed much. Grrrrrr!

When I grow up I wanna be fair.
I wanna be thin.
I wanna have a dick.
I wanna be rich.
I wanna give you all the happiness that you want.
I wanna be a guy.
I wanna have soo many girlfriends.
I wanna go out at night and get drunk.
I wanna be your good husband.
I wanna give a damn to a person that drag away from me.


I got navel piercing! HAHAH
I lied :P

Friday, November 13, 2009

Good Girl Go Bad.


This is all your fault.

Smoke. Aneroxic. Telan pill tidur sampai 10 biji. Takda semangat nak hidup. Can't do anything.

While you having fun with your beautiful and cheery life. Thanks you so much.

GOSH!






Can't wait!! Time, go faster! PUH-LIZZZZ :)

Entry No. -167890.9989

Jangan cakap kau sayang kalau kau tak boleh bagi ape yang aku nak.

Jangan cakap kau sayang kalau kau tak percaya aku.

Jangan cakap kau sayang kalau kau rosakkan aku.

Jangan cakap kau sayang kalau kau suka menyusahkan hidup aku.

Jangan cakap kau sayang kalau kau rasa kau ada orang lain yang lagi penting daripada aku.

Jangan cakap kau sayang kalau aku susah kau buat aku lagi susah.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Untitled.

Kalau nak menyesal sekarang memang dah tak guna. Langsung tak guna.

SPM is coming, very soon. Kalau dulu kau nak enjoy sangat, sekarang masak la kau nak menghadap buku 24 jam. Masak lah kau jumpa cikgu addmath tiap2 hari sebab kau fail setiap kali test. Masak la kau kene leter dengan mak bapak pasal masa depan, duit dan kehidupan luar yang sangat mencabar. Masak la kau nak fikir Course ape yang kau nak apply untuk masuk Uni nanti.

Sudah-sudah lah, kalau kau rasa kau boleh buat memang kau boleh buat.

Positive tu penting.



MUNGKIN

Life isn't what we aim for, but life is about how we faced all the things that gives by God.

Kalau kau rasa kau hebat sebab semua orang respect kau atau kau rasa kau orang paling malang yang hidup kat dunia ni, mungkin kau salah. Mungkin satu hari nanti kau akan rasa ada orang lain yang hidup lagi susah daripada kau. Mungkin satu hari nanti kau rasa bersyukur dengan apa yang kau dah pernah lalui tu tak seteruk orang lain.

Kalau sekarang kau rasa teruk sebab kau orang paling bodoh dalam kelas atau kau orang yang paling banyak masalah pelajaran dalam kelas. Mungkin nanti kau akan jadi orang yang paling berjaya di antara yang lain dalam kelas tu. Walaupun apa yang kita lalui sekarang mungkin terlampau sukar atau payah dalam hidup, jangan lupa bahawa kita akan lalui masalah yang lebih besar pada hari akan datang.

Kita tak kan tahu apa yang akan jadi kelak. So, preparations tu penting. Dari segi ape2 pun. Jangan nanti dah takde tempat nak bergantung baru sibuk nak cari orang mintak tolong.

Ape2 pun yang kau fikir, mungkin tak sama dengan tujuan atau hikmah kau dapat ape yang kau dapat sekarang. Mungkin kau tak fikir dengan cara yang betul. Mungkin juga ada anasir luar yang menjadikan kau fikir benda yang tak betul.

Tuhan lagi penting dari segalanya. Kalau kau takde salah satu daripada apa yang kau nak, jangan salahkan Tuhan. Salahkan diri sendiri yang tak tahu nak menghargai dan jaga ape yang kau dah ada. Mungkin ini sebagai tebusan dosa2 yang kau pernah buat dulu. Mungkin kau rasa ape yang kau buat tak salah, atau kau tak tahu dosa tu ape. Kau tak percaya pada karma. Kau tak percaya pada Hari Pembalasan yang dah dijanjikan Tuhan. Kau lupa berapa banyak salah yang kau dah buat. Kau tak tahu betapa banyak dosa yang kau dah lakukan.

Kau kata kau tak kesah bila orang sekeliling menyumpah kau sebab perangai kau macam bangsat. Tapi tengok lah ape jadi sekarang. Kau kata kau tak kesah ape perasaan orang bila kau buat jahat pada diorang. Tengok lah ape yang orang buat pada kau sekarang. Ni semua pasal karma dan pembalasan.

Mungkin kau tak perasan lagi. Mungkin kau tak rasa lagi ape yang sepatutnya kau rasa. Mungkin kau buat2 tak rasa walaupun kau dah rasa ape yang sepatutnya.

Kemingkinan besar KAU akan rasa ape yang perlu kau rasa dalam masa terdekat ni. Semoga kau hidup bahagia dengan ape yang kau usaha selama ni.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I'm talking to you, dear Blue Sand.

Oh blue sands, can you tell me if I ever be happy?
Oh blue sands, can I stay here forever?
Oh blue sands, can you make them all go away?
Oh blue sands, what are you doing in my hair?

And everything will get better if I stay for a while
And well find another way to be happy one day
And everything will get better if you hold on for a while
And the sea come and sweeps us away from here

Oh blue sands, can you make them understand?

And everything will get better if I stay for a while
And we'll find another way to be happy one day
And everything will get better if you hold on for a while
And the sea come and sweep us away from here

Oh blue sands, I dont want to go up there and pretend
That Im okay

I don't hate you anymore, for the way you remind me of the person I cannot be
And for the things I cannot have
I dont hate you anymore, when I look at you
All I see is the blue waves coming to get me
And take me away


Monday, November 9, 2009

This time; It's All About You, Bebehh


;Somewhat, somehow I do love this picture. I don't know why, hee :)

You're my laughter, my best person to hug and kiss.
Your hugs and your kisses will be missed.
My only one that I love.

I'm sorry for things i did wrong.
I disappointed you, I know.
I ignores you all time that you need someone to talk to.
I used to hate you when you mad at me.
I used to hate you because you're with her.

But now, all hates and trashes are no where in my thought .
Believe me, I do love you.

I promised you something, remember?
I'll make it true. I swear.



And sekarang,
Sape kata I malu you boyfriend I?

LOVE YA BABE,
NAJWA.

Time did changes things.

Malam semalam, sbb malas nak study. Diorang tengok gambar lame2 aku.
Then ...



Nadia : Kau dulu putih je kan kak? Skang dah hitam sgt dah.

Me : Sial. Diam

Nasuha : Dulu kau takde gigi HAHA
Me : Kau dulu pun same doe. Kecik2 biase lah. Yang tu mase aku 2 tahun kot.

Nadia : Dulu kau jalan kaki tak senget pun. Skng dah mcm org cacat dah.
Me : Kau kalau jgn cari pasal ngn aku bole tak?
Nadia : tak bole punnnn. *sambil buat aksi2 cacat.
Me : Diam ah aku nak blaja!


Silence ....

Nadhilah : Dulu kak Najwa tak gemok mcm skng kan?
Me : Aku cakap diam kan.
Nadhilah : Alaa tapi skng kak Najwa tak cantik.
Me : YE! bole diam skng?
Nadhilah : Tapiiiii.....
Me Diam!!!
Nadhilah : Org demam tak bole marah2 laa
Me : Okay, kalau taknak aku marah, tolong diam. Pleaseeeeee
Nadhilah : Okay okayy. Sume org senyap.

Conclusion ...
Selain Nadia adik yang sgt annoying, Nadhilah lagi sorang adik yang annoying.

Can I?

The question is, can I trough all the tough day that will appear after this?
The answer? I DON'T KNOW.
I hope I can. Insyaallah.

Tapi hidup ni takde la susah sgt kan. Bak kata Maya ''Najwa, kalau kau fail SPM pun kau hidup susah je, merempat je. Bukan ade ape ape pun. Kau tak payah study lah.'' Hotak kau! HAHA I take that as a motivations for me. *yeahh rite.

Can time stop now? Or yesterday? Okayy the answer is no. But I wish time can be stopped. I don't want next week or even tomorrow to came up. Can you be the one who can stop the time? Anyone?

Waiting ...


Still waiting the answer ...


FINE.
But, come on people. Pleaseeeeee


FINE! The answer is no one. I knew that.


Tadi Aifa cakap we are going to sit the exam next week. Gosh! I were shocked. Really shocked. Untill the day of SPM scenery in 5 Sc will be so sopan and menyejukkan hati para cikgu. Fine, accept for English and EST subjects. You know what, Issa said the word 'dildo' in front of Ms. Mahani. HAHHA bodoh. I bet takde org yang mcm Issa. And teacher Mahani was blushing *I dont know why, pffttt. Then she asked us to get out from the class quickly. Dia tak tahan ngn budak2 5 SC. HAHA

Sunday, November 8, 2009

'makcik' story.

I 'mek kecik' lah weh. HAHAH

I do appreciate kau dah maafkan aku. A big THANK YOU for you little girl. And thank you kau dah ckp dgn aku. Malu nak ckp, tapi errrr ... aku happy :)

I hope you understand what I'm facing right now. It's really hard for me. Maybe you don't even care about me, but I do care about you. Familyhood can't easily to break kan?

Anddddd, tak payah takut dgn my boyfriend. He can't do ANYTHING to you. If he does, aku yang akan bertanggungjawab. I feel so protective on you, you know.

Once again, thank you 'niece'.
-najwa

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Come Back :)

Hey hoo :) My Internet connection is all okay now. I'm happy, geez :D

New update ; I penat study. It's like sangat sangat penat. Tapi in order to have a better life, I have to study hard start from now. kan? I wish all this hardships will end up quickly. Very quick! I had enough. Tak tahan sudah.

And I think I should take Tourism Course for further study. Even my parents not agree with that, but do I care? HAHA. I will take that course too.


Tapiiiiiiiii Early Childhood Educations sounds interesting jugak kan? Tapi sayang. I hate children, hehh. So bye bye lah for that course :D

Instead of tourism, I think I should apply Arts of Culinary Course. I have my own reason why I decided to take those kine of courses. The main reason is............ I want to enjoy what I'm studying. heheh

Life is about joyful. Am I rite?
Studiying with all the joyful is the best thing ever! Believe me, u'll get flying colours results later.
That's all for today.
Bye :D